Friday 30 May 2008 @16:17
Eever woken up only to realise it somehow seems to be a gloomy day? today is that day. dont really know why. hmmm. i guess i'm sensing some hopelessness in a particular situation and a little unhappiness. I need Jesus to fill my inadequacies.
Going to join the rest for church camp later. Just need to get out of rjc life and into church life, my cg is really my refuge. I guess there is where I can truly let go and be myself with God. After all, there's nothing I can hide from Him. and I truly glad about that. need Him to keep me in check.
jesus said "be of good cheer; for I have overcome the world" XD
I shall XD
Thursday 29 May 2008 @12:10
Oh man, i actually woke up at 10am and didnt even snooze the alarm. lol. Yes its extemely rare that i wake up at 10am on the account that i slept at 2.30am this morning!
Slept with a tremendous amount of stress last night. Suddenly realised the amount of work i needed to do. I was praying to God asking that He make a way for me since i was really stretched due to some problems with GB work and other CG duties I had to complete. Then God reminded me that He would not shortchange me as long as I was serving Him and His people since i was terribly afraid that I would do badly for my CTs because I have barely started. really.
I feel a lot better now because not only have I completed my CG duties, I've also settled my GB stuff. Thank God for making a way indeed!
I'm missing ignite youth camp. :( Parents and I both decided that I do need more time to study. But I'm still going to attend the night sessions! Cant wait to hear what Yi Lun (zone leader) has to preach. I'm really glad that I've managed to get Juon,Sam and Leong to come for the camp fire on friday! I believe they will be greatly blessed by the sermon after the campfire XD
I wonder what the people at church camp are doing now...
For now, I shall do my best with my studies! Jia you everyone!
Tuesday 27 May 2008 @19:33
The same feeling plagued me again. the feeling of insecurity. worried of how people perceive me when I am totally caught unaware. Sometimes, the subtleties of your actions can really affect another no matter how unknowingly it may have occurred.
I'm really not sure if I''m at fault this time. But I guess what's important is not who's to be blamed but whether or not I can change to make the situation better. We're in different classes now. Maybe that's why I have not been paying much attention to that friend of mine and vice versa.
Just thought of this famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi - "be the change you want to see in the world" haha. ok this sounds a bit exaggerated for my situation. but I guess I need to be the change I want to see in my relationship with my friend.
I went to city hall to help with the house banner painting for the upcoming ignite church camp XD it looks quite cool. my house name is Nakamura. yea the guy in heroes. haha. u can call me a frog in a well but I've really never seen that show. So we were trying our best to make the picture of nakamura look fierce on our banner haha. it was quite interesting XD camp starts on thursday! it will be held at the sembawang GB and BB campsite. The last time I've been there was ehhhh primary 5 during some camp for junior leaders. I'm looking forward to going back again and am especially looking forward to the sermons. The sermons given by CHC never fail to inspire me in little ways. I want to be a cell group leader some day. I think thats an amazing way that I can serve God. Just as how my own cell grp leader impacted my life, it would be great if I could do the same though it seems very much a tall order now.
Been busy with cell membrane notes. I realise my working pace is ULTRA slow. My engine is just not driven up yet. Will get my pace back soon. I hope...
Monday 26 May 2008 @18:09
I've decided to create a whole new blog. After all, coming into rjc means starting a whole new life and welcoming whole new experiences. I'd very much like to forget all the sorrows of the past and keep the bits from which I have learnt lessons from. I really do miss rgs. It was a place where I really grew to understand what kind of person I want to be. But of course, I thank God for guiding my path, for helping me understand that there is more to life than the tangibles. I stepped on the toes of many people in rgs, for this I really wish to apologise. at the same time, I also wish to thank those who have picked me up when I fell, those that stood by me despite my relentless complaints.
everyone seems to be moving on in rjc. which makes the statement that change is the only constant very true. everyone is caught up in their new life, their new passion, I guess I'm guilty of that too. life goes on so fast in rjc that you sometimes forget to take a step back and evaluate whatever you have done.
sometimes, you just try to grab onto things you feel you are about to lose grip of. Certain things i feel i should not let go of.
I've begin to realise that God is speaking to me whenever I comfort others with His Word. I am hardly ever alone when I grow weary of waiting for His answers. Patience. God has a perfect plan. I have learnt to wait for His replies and to have fidelity in Him. He has never failed me and never will. I seek solace in that fact. I'm beginning to realise the importance of having an eternal source of support especially when friends come and go.
I want to thank God for these
1. for a stable and loving family
2. for city harvest and e426 my source of strength
3. my close friends
4. my gifts
5. my weaknesses from which I begin to understand how vulnerable I am without Him.
6. for good teachers in rjc
7. confidence for the future
I will not return to school and say that I had spent my whole june holidays studying. Neither will I go back saying that I have not studied at all. I trust that I will learn to strike the delicate balance between work and play.
Still learning...