Monday 27 April 2009 @00:23
Shiao yen told me recently, "you just gotta block it out and choose not to get emo about it tho you may just want to sometimes"
so true, so true.. haha
i feel a lot better.
but it doesnt help that i hvnt mugged for my bio spa on tues. and tht i will be home late tml. i tried so hard to mug just now. nothing. abosolutely nothing could go into my head. HAIZ! annoying right? yes. O.o
i thank God for the opportunoity to touch the heart of 2 of my friends this week just by being there for them. :) thank God for e opportunity to serve Him tho im no longer making birthday cards in cg.
i will make an effort to make e426 more bonded. im not gona let Lucifer... the annoying pain-in-the-butt devil destroy my cell group. we will become more united.
my sources of strength have changed over this half a year. perhaps it has reduced in size. but now i realise. it has not. yes i am not relying on some people now cos of the distance that was intentionally/unintentionally created, but God's grace and love is sufficient. and i thank God i have a true friendship with jane that can stand the storms of this world.
ive had better days than today. cos today wasnt as productive as i had wanted it to be. but oh well... just gotta pick myself up.
i bought David Archuletta's cd! haha it has been a very VERY long time since i last spent money on a cd at all. so im quite happy.
recently i found out that there are people in the world that like the band Blue too! tho they have disbanded alrdy, i still like their songs. just that i dun express it as much as i did last time. haha. my friend used to call me aLEEcia cos i loved lee ryan frm blue. :)
hahaa oh wells. gtg! till next time. this week is gona be a tough week. i just know it. but i just know i will live through it. :)
Sunday 19 April 2009 @17:02
pastor ended his series on love and relationships today. his sermons centred around marriage but today, something he said struck me and i teared.
it goes something like this "let God take away all your bitterness, all your hurt that you may have experienced in past relationships (be it friendships or other forms of relationships)."
As much as i have let go, meaning stop getting angry or upset, i admit that i hv not been able to remove the deep-seeded hurt inside my heart. i have not forgotten. and yes i am still bitter just that i choose not to think about it.
things seem to end this way quite often. for me at least. after going thru so many months of uncertainty, ive realised that i should really listen to God's voice more. there was a lack of peace in my heart when it started. a peace i have now, now that that chapter of my life has closed.
somethings i found out recently reopened the wound and i started to feel quite cheated and angry. thats why when pastor told us to fight for our relationships and in this my case friendships, i teared cos i know i have long ago given up. but is it wrong Lord? is it wrong to give up when you already see no use in pursuing any friendship whatsoever. is it wrong to give up when you feel cheated by that person? must i still fight for something i'd probably be doing not cos i want to but cos God would like me to?
im not sure...
what i do know is that these days, my life is been very routine and very hectic. as i struggle to maintain a balance between being a good student and a good friend and even a good Christian, i find myself fumbling.
still i am glad. i am glad God made me realise that i made a mistake from the start when i did not listen to Him. i am suffering the consequences now. but at least i have learnt. i have learnt to look beyond superficial things like chemistry and telepathy to character and principles.
im getting to know more people i wouldnt have known if that chapter of my life didnt close. God, indeed, what You told me that certain people enter your life to teach you the ways of God (tho indirectly) indeed came true. i thank you Lord for the experience. I thank you even more Lord that it is over. I thank you Lord that I have so many other things to live for. and I thank you Lord for the courage to be able to voice all these out in this post, irregardless of what people may say :)
thank you Lord :)
Saturday 4 April 2009 @02:14
God, you have been good. and I shall remain optimistic though You have allowed many difficulties to come my way. Being the publicity head of RCLF isnt easy.
God, i shall not focus on recognition anymore. I shall focus on glorifying you. You have given me a task i have absolutely to experience in handling. but i believe i will grow stronger through this.
BY FAITH. i am not alone.
BY FAITH, the mountain in my life will move
BY FAITH, i will still score my straight As for A levels even though i cannot dedicate a lot of time to my studies now
BY FAITH. I will overcome any hatred, any dislike and love people the way You do