oh well...caught the flu. runny nose. -sniffs-
Its 31st December 2008! Never did i expect this day to come so soon. A lot of things have happened this year. New friendships, some lost ever so swiftly. New aspirations, new dreams, and new mindsets.
God has brought me far from where I was on the 31st of December 2007. I have been through a lot of joys and tears, too many to mention and perhaps remember in detail.
Some things may forever be etched in my memory...
Any regrets for this year? Definitely. Certain things could have been handled better to lessen the consequent pain. But without these, I believe I will not learn to handle things better. Since last year, I've wanted to be a cell group leader. I wouldnt say that the passion for it is buring as much as it was back then, but I know its still my desire. Ever since I declared that to God and my cell group friends, I guess, God has decided that I would need a lot of moulding. Perhaps that is why I went through so much this year. From finding out what I really want and what God wants for me, to fighting pragmatism against emotions. I could have been a better daughter, a better friend, a better good friend and a better Christian. I guess we are all on a journey and we gotta learn to forgive people and ourselves.
Any things worth celebrating abt this year? Yep...
I discovered some of my God-given gifts this year. I hope that after As, I might be able to pursue graphic design and stuff like that. I wanna be part of the church choir after As. :) Theres so much more to learn. I thank God for good friends, especially Jane. It takes effort for a friendship to be sustained and effort is needed especially when you are busy and find it hard to remember your friend and her needs. Thanks Jane, for remembering me. I hope I have not and will not forget you in your time of need. I am less stressed this year compared to 2007. Have I slackened? Im not sure. But if I have, I guess its only healthy for me to let up a bit. :) dont you agree?
Made a lot of decisions this year. Who doesnt yea? I tried to be adventurous and plan a Christmas party for my class, which of course wldnt happen without the help of the other ppl in my class. :) and other little things like taking more initiative at home.
Next yr is gona be tough. A levels... no joke. Everyone is getting worried and i get worried along with them. Are we overreacting? God says, why worry abt tomorrow, sufficient for today is its own worries. I guess, we just need to start working. :) Aim high but dont forget to prepare a safety net :)
Oh well, I hope I get well before year 2009! Till next time :)
Fear.
I'm ridden with fear. Fear of the 2.4km run approaching like a hungry tiger ready to swallow me whole. It's one of the biggest fears in my life. I really do not know why. I can do the other items reasonably well, i just cant do long distance. I do train. But i fear training. Somehow, i always feel like vomitting when im running my 4th round or so, or if i run too fast, i feel nauseous again. What's wrong with me?!
I really need help. I dont know how. I cant believe I managed to do it this yr. Now, it seems to be mission impossible. I need a miracle.
I cant believe I'm stressed during the holidays. RCLF, 2.4...As...studies in general... I really pray that I do not burn out next year.
I'm feeling sick now. Muscles aching weirdly. feeling v tired. n my throat feels funny. I really feel I cant go on. But I know I must.
I feel like crying. Really dont understand why I seem to be one of the few people with this problem, this phobia. and well few ppl understand how i feel. I feel like screaming... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
someone save me from 2.4km run... I know next time when I look back, im gona laugh at my stupidity. but nows now... my last 2.4km run.
I Stand in Awe
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BEYOND DESCRIPTION
TOO MARVELOUS FOR WORDS
TOO WONDERFUL FOR COMPREHENSION
LIKE NOTHING EVER SEEN OR HEARD
WHO CAN GRASP YOUR INFINITE WISDOM
WHO CAN FATHOM THE DEPTH OF YOUR LOVE
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BEYOND DESCRIPTION
MAJESTY ENTHRONE ABOVE
AND I STAND, I STAND IN AWE OF YOU
I STAND, I STAND IN AWE OF YOU
HOLY GOD TO WHOM ALL PRAISE IS DUE
I STAND IN AWE OF YOU
Lovely song isnt it? :) indeed who can understand how deep Your love is for us. Perhaps it is for that reason that we can never come close to reciprocating that same amount of love for You.
I feel liberated. I feel great. I've never felt this much peace in a long time. It was a right choice. :) thank you Jesus.
Today, i managed to go downstairs to start my running... to train for 2.4km and im glad i actually woke up at 7am. haah. oh well. ive finally gathered e pace of doing school work... everythn seems to be going well. thank God :)
btw... understatement... but TWILIGHT ROCKS. edward is such an enchanting character! :) spent 6hrs reading and still nt done. haha. oh welll... :)
nites!
ive learnt so much today.
i'm finally learning how to be a leader. this i wasnt aware until someone praised me today. and i wanna thank him for that cos its great motivation and reassurance that im doing things right for my publicity committee and the entire rclf. :)
thanks charles :) these little words of encouragement can really do wonders. especially after you are so tired of the heavy workload.
im learning things that many leaders will say DUH.. to but oh well, its never too late yea?
ive learnt to be humble and accept that other people may have better ideas than i do. ive learnt to give praises generously but with reason of cos. ive learnt to acknowledge the strengths and resources others have so that i can make a team work more efficiently. ive learnt the importance of being prepared to faciliate discussions and meetings. i used to think agendas were silly hahaa. ive so much to learn from each of my pubs members :) they are a good and cooperative team :) and we're pretty focused, so meetings go well :) ive learnt that members of a team should always be recognised for their hard work and their contributions, and that it is bad to steal the limelight for yourself. in other words, give credit only when credit is due.
im enjoying the process more and more. and as i see us coming up with ideas and working together, im feel a sense of fulfillment :) really glad that im doing something other than mugging my head off this hols :)
Thank you my Heavenly Father :)
signing off!
oh boy... finally completed my gift for my leader. think its looks not too bad! :) today somehow i woke up with much lethargy. i wanna slp! but oh well... need to get work done!! theres rclf meeting on msn tonight! >< gotta get our publicity act together!!
i gotta get my act together!
go girl!
a normal day :)
i woke up, did some homework... did my quiet time :) i had a peaceful time today. so much has happened over the past few weeks that i really appreciated the brakes that were pulled recently. i guess a phase of my life has passed and im moving on to something new that God has planned for me to go thru. and during this transition, its a bit less eventful and mild. so mayb thats y im a bit sianned. but well.. i do need this time to re-prioritise. :)
i have found new motivation to strive harder. its really not for anyone but God. If an idea isnt ridiculous, why have it? I am aiming to get into Cambridge. A tall order yes... but I want to shine for God in my studies and i do hope i can do well enough :) i will try my best tho. im gona try my utmost best to ensure that RCLF works.
God spoke to me about confidence and surprisingly thru myself, when i was talking abt it to a friend. Confidence, true confidence doesnt come from the no. of people who love or accept u but in knowing that you are a Child of God and are treasured so much. theres only one me. and heaven rejoiced when i turned to Christ. thats how special each of us are. :)I need to know the kinda person i am...my strengths and my weaknesses. and i roughly have an idea. :) so when i get criticised for something that i knw i am not guilty of, i will not get too affected. i will learn to filter comments and criticisms :)
i feel God speaking through me very often recently. i say things that i never expected to say to people. things that enlighten myself even. Glory to God. really. but i wanna thank God for leading my path. for never failing to be by my side and be with me when i run out of tears and even when i have joy in me :)
My Life, Your Song
Bridge:
In all my life, Be Glorified
With Christ in me, No longer I
Part of a Verse:
Nothing in this world, can take me away from You
Our love goes on and on...
something i did in abt 5 mins when i was fiddling w adobe photoshop. thanks to shiao for e original photo of the trees. its really pretty!
oh well. life is starting! im back to doing work for next year. but of cos. this time, im gona play hard too!
im back home :) its great to be back after 2 weeks away from home. i really missed most of the things back home and my parents more than i nornally do.
i thoroughly enjoyed my trip. it was filled with many struggles but it had an equal amount of joys :)
i managed to sort out my thoughts on many things. and even tho it might take some effort on my part, i have decided that i will do it. sometimes, mind over heart shld be practiced.
im casting my net further in many areas of my life. for instance, im considering studying in Australia next time :) that place is really much more relaxed and you really get to enjoy the lush green scenery especially in the suburbs. Australians are terribly nice people too :) they are extremely polite and kind. im casting my net further ... not gonna restrict myself to any particular path. God holds many opportunities for me :) i shall not jail myself :)
sometimes u think that a particular route you have chosen is the best one or you may think that you wont get anything better or u dont deserve better. God wants us to be the head and not the tail. to be above and not beneath :) As a Child of God. i deserve much more. i shall explore the other opportunities God has in store for me. I'm really glad this trip helped in broaden my horizons in so many ways. i guess sometimes its the life lessons you learn on study trips that matter most :)
i have loads of stuff to do. which i will get down to doing after this.
RCLF, Christmas party, School work. :)
Everything shall be done with the joy of the Lord. for that is my strength :)
God spoke to me a lot during the trip. He told me to focus on Him. and i did. when i did, all my insecurities fled me. all the fears i had became small. even though as the day passes, my confidence may fade, i will make sure that i recharge during quiet time again :) God makes all things new :)
amen
good day i had :) went to the wildlife park! saw a lot of cute cute animals! :)
i touched e belly of wombat! and i fed kangaroossss :) they were so adorable! i managed to get some nice pictures :)
today is the 2nd last night here. kinda missing home and kinda dun wanna go home...
oh wells. shall go to the lounge and play with the rest :)