Thursday 29 January 2009 @00:03
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive.
Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled.
Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others
physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally (i try to).
Strong Moderate sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations.
Hardworking.
No Some difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone (at times). Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person.
Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked.
Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover.
Thursday 15 January 2009 @19:11
im so worn out.
and a little discouraged.
but its only the 4th day of school.
Friday 9 January 2009 @23:58
The road is long
The valley's deep
The ocean's wide in front of me
But God saved the day
Jesus, You're the way
The Truth the Light
The Hope for all mankind
I've nothing much to say today. just that this song makes sense. :)
my road is long... for As. my valley is deep for other stuff which seemingly cant be solved. and well the ocean... wide in front of me. something i seemingly cant cross without going thru the deep waters. but God. He saved the day. so i have victory in Christ. I have done nothing significant enough to deserve this. and yet He gave.
This year, gona rely more on God, less on people.
Econs tution e entire week wore me out. Really tired. and kinda confused with all the macroeconomic diagrams. felt quite at a loss today since i didnt totally understand stuff. man i bet im gona feel this way a lot this year. just gotta stand strong i guess. Weilin said, "must know how to prioritise." yup. God over studies. Studies over all. of cos not forgetting my friends.
Who do u wanna keep after JC. who will you seriously make an effort to keep in contact with even when you are in different continents? I figured that the most important person would be Jesus. Recently, i realised that i lose all strength when i spend less time with Him, when i stop praying.
Thank you Jesus. for everything. its in adversities that i draw closer to You. so this year, I definitely will
Thursday 8 January 2009 @23:17
peace :) let go and let God. did quiet time today. God told me "I love you". it was quite amazing. i was just writing in my journal. i took up my pen... n just kept writing what God was telling me. I really wonder what I would do if I lost my connection with God. throughout this time, He's always been there when I pray. He says, "Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world" :)
man im really sleepy. this is probably one of my last few blog posts. soon it wont be as frequent. so i shall post my wishes this 2009.
1. to improve in econs. to like Econs and love it more each day
2. to be a better and more caring daughter
3. to get the max. no. of As for A levels.
4. to be more optimistic. to encourage. to teach with sincerity
5. to be willing to help others even tho it may be a little inconvenient
6. to build my faith
7. to form long lasting friendships that will last after JC. :)
8. to make it into the university of my choice... (which uni i shall not reveal) :)
9. to love life. to smile and to make others smile.
10.to be the best leader i can be
11. most importantly, to love God more each day :) and do everythn to glorify His name :) credit for my achievements goes to Him :)
One Life, One Love for Christ :)
till next time :)
Wednesday 7 January 2009 @00:05
I've been thinking... is business a valid reason for one to forget friends and family... to forget things that will seemingly always be there.
This year i will be taking my As. and i know for sure, i wouldnt have the time to go out with a lot of ppl, with my cell grp, or even for a proper meal with my family. But is that a good reason to turn a cold shoulder to em...
Perhaps I have done that during my promotional exam period... and even occasionally during the holidays when i just forget. its human i guess. but i remember getting an sms from a friend when everyone was seemingly busy. and it mattered a lot. she brightened my day. She sent me 3 words "God loves you". It was wow. and it means more than "I love you", those 3 words alrdy incorporated her sisterly love for me :) i guess, its when you receive a greeting from a friend when you least expect it that makes the greeting so much more significant.
which reminds me... it was when the world was dark that God sent Jesus as the only way. thats wad makes Him significant. He cared when others didnt.
Question is.. do I care enough to ask or greet. I want to. and this year. things will be different. :)
Saturday 3 January 2009 @14:12
oooooh the new year is here... so soon. I spent the eve at home. was practically teleporting from vivocity to marinabay (or channel 8 to channel 5) haha. come to think of it, it was quite hilarious. i had my laptop in front of me. my tv in front of my laptop in front of me (the tv was a reasonable distance away of course, so i wont go blind. haha) n i was alone at home. my WHOLE family was out. my parents with their cell grp at watch night service at their church. my bro with his cg. and me..at home with my laptop. talking to jianhong, jonovan and some other random ppl on msn. i duno whether or not u consider that kinda celebration sad. haha. but i know i did escape all the crowds! i really dislike crowds. chinatown is the last place i will go to during cny. and bugis street is the last place i will go to no matter when. lol.
last night, we had class chalet. i wasnt really in the mood for it. i was kinda uneasy. felt outta place. mayb cos i havent seen a lot of them in a while... or i just wasnt used to them, after being at home (and not in class/school) for so long. mayb i was just tired. or mayb, i just didnt feel like trying to tell jokes.sometimes, i try to tell jokes to lighten e mood or liven things up... somehow... something tells me im losing the fire. ultimately i get laughed at...yes...its ok actually. if it makes ppl happy, y not? oh well. mayb this is just a phase for me. getting a little sensitive when ppl suan. like how i did when i was trying to teach troy how to play bridge but failed terribly and caused him to lose cos i wasnt v good at the game. but of course i dun blame my friends. :) its just something ive been thinking abt these days. like why do i even try to make a fool of myself or sometimes i just do so naturally. i guess ppl all make mistakes. even stupid ones. n mayb we just happen to rmb what we ourselves did wrong. mayb tts y it feels as tho you've done so much wrong. so when u feel that you've made so many mistakes..even the little ones, u just wanna shut up and not say or do anythn anymore. yup.. i think ive been feeling discouraged. thats the word for it.
today... i kinda felt a little lousy abt myself too. it just builds on... i think i need some encouragement mayb from myself. was leading praise and worship for the girls brigade open house meeting today. the slides kinda got messed up... feel v bad abt it. i did put quite a bit of effort into preparing for it. so yyup... disappointed at myself. i think i need to tell a friend all these things that are happening. ive been keeping everythn inside... its been like that for a while. used to tell a few people my problems. now i hardly even say anythn to anyone other than jane... and to her i alrdy dun tell everything.
thats y quiet time helps. i guess thats e only time i can refresh myself.
i am fearfully and wonderfully made. thats wad God says. its frm Psalm 139:14. my favourite verse. Jesus makes room for all of us to fall. even though we may be walking thru the valley of the shadow of death, we need not fear... i think its true that no one really feels secure 100% of the time. and God allows Satan to put lies into your head so as to train you. and see the way you react. to train you and wait for you to make the right choice one day. when you feel that you're not good enuf, you letting Satan get to you. and i did. im glad jane reminded me not to. :)
no one shld ever tell you that you are lousy. and no one can let you feel that way except yourself. :)
i figured that if you dont even trust yourself...its likely you cant do things well. i think... im still struggling w that. i cant trust myself to do things right sometimes. and wad makes things worse sometimes is that when u finally gathered e courage to do sth... you make a mistake and pooosh ur confidence gets crushed.
For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken. - prov 3:26...
Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward - Heb 10:35
e bible seems to have an answer for everythn. :) i just need to learn to apply.
i shall end for now. :)