Thursday, 20 November 2008 @01:06
some thoughts i had today.
its really not fun to get suanned throughout the entire day. sometimes when i try to crack jokes its really to make things interesting for others. n well... i guess too much suanning hurts. im not your clown you know. i just wanna stop trying.
i was honestly unhappy that i had to enter the overflow room despite the fact that i reached expo super early. but tts partly my fault.
i learnt that the presence of God is everywhere. you need to seek it. even in the overflow room it can be strong.
i learnt that i cannot tolerate this ("this" i will not explicitly state). i cringe when it happens. and it seems like we are on par now. kinda have the same importance and standing.things are coming from one side. feels tt way. oh well.
well... thats not important. or at least i try not to think abt it anymore. when im on the mrt alone, riding frm expo to bishan. such a long ride. can really drive u nuts sometimes esp when ure alone. gives me a lot of time to think.
God says I am His child and I am to find confidence in Him. that only Him i trust cos ppl tend to disappoint. n its nt entirely their fault. cos you set expectations on them.
Dear God, very honestly, i dont want to get used to this. I know You said my life will be very eventful the day i said that i wanted to be a cell group leader. but seriously... i rather i din know some people or din cross paths... so all these wouldnt happen and all the feelings like fear and anxiety wont exist cos of them. But then again. not my will but Yours be done. I thank You for being my kleenex when all other brands fail. im learning to put You first so that i wouldnt even need to depend on others. and get so affected by what they do. its not their fault. partly mine. I believe You're my Healer. :)